Journey to the Savage Planet

WELCOME TO THE PIONEER PROGRAM! As the newest recruit of Kindred Aerospace - The 4th best interstellar space exploration company - Your job is to determine if the planet ARY-26 planet is fit for humans. You may be short on equipment and experience, but good luck! Your mission includes: Play with a friend – Play solo or online with a friend. If you have one. Explore and catalog the flora and fauna. From strange spherical birds to hallucinogenic plants to ‘festering alien orifices.’ Try not to die. No Expense Spared* – You get some cool tools for free, like a laser pistol, rocket booster pack, and ‘probe’, but if you need something you have a slick 3D printer can turn space trash into sweet items. Are you alone? – Bonus mysteries! Complete your survey of the planet to find out. You’ll know you’re on the road to completion when you’ve heard the words ‘cucumber sh*twater’ and found the ‘festering butthole’. Onward to adventure!* - Most expenses spared.